GIVING UNTIL IT HURTS
The October 2004 issue of the Catholic Sentinel, the official newspaper of the
Archdiocese of Portland, recounts a powerful story of generosity. It was one of those stories that stayed with me for years and will continue to in the years to come. During the height of the relief efforts and requests for assistance for those who had been severely affected by hurricane Katrina, almost all of the parishes in the United States had second collections to raise funds for the victims of the hurricane. One of those parishes was the St. Lawrence of Brindisi Church in Los Angeles, California. When the money-counting team was counting the collection, they found an envelope with a hand printed message in Spanish, which said “For the victims of the hurricane, I did not bring any money, but this should be of some value — It is with all my heart.” When they opened the envelope, they saw a gold wedding ring with small notches on the outside. That story truly touched my heart. My immediate reaction was this woman had incredible kindness and charity. This woman had nothing, and she reached down on her hand and took off her ring ... This was all she had, and she gave it with all her heart.
In the gospel this Sunday, we hear a similar story in the person of the widow, who put in two small coins worth a few cents. Jesus was greatly pleased with her example. There are a few things that we need to know in order to fully understand the context of this story. During the time of Jesus, widows were part of the marginalized group of the
Jewish society. Since married women at that time were very much dependent on the income of their husbands in order to survive, one can imagine that a widow would find herself in a very difficult situation since no one would support her. She was always at the mercy of the kindness of others, oftentimes begging for help. So when the widow in the gospel story put in two small coins, she was actually giving all that she had, even if its monetary value was nothing in the eyes of many. She was not giving out of her surplus. What we see in here and what Jesus wants to point out in the Gospel is that any act of kindness and charity is not measured by how much one gives or extends, but rather its value lies in the intention of our hearts, the reason behind our action. As what we usually say, “It is the thought that counts.” Jesus is not asking us to give up everything we have; He is not asking us to neglect our needs, or not to save for the future. But rather, he shows us that authentic empathy to the plight of others requires that something is also taken away from us, feeling the hurt, at some level, of the difficulties of what others have gone through. It is the challenge of genuine charity.
One time I was talking to a priest-friend of mine who was assigned as a missionary to Darfur in Sudan. He was relating to me the miseries and the unimaginable conditions of the refugees in the camps: hundreds of people died every day because of lack of food and basic necessities, not discounting the oppressions against women. I could feel his struggle and difficulty, and I admired his dedication and courage to serve in one of the most difficult and dangerous places on the planet. But after talking to him that day, my day went on as usual. I was touched by his stories and missionary zeal, but I failed to truly empathize with his struggles. I realized that I was so busy with my own little world that I was not able to truly be one with him in the struggles that he was sharing with me. I felt his difficulties, but not powerful enough for me to ask what I could possibly do to help out. There are times when we need to be shocked with what others are going through in their lives. At times, we need to be moved by the struggles of others to the point that we take it upon ourselves to do something, even in a small way, to make a difference in the world. This means going out of our comfort zones, letting go for even just a second our own securities, not necessarily always financial, but even our emotional and spiritual securities. A simple example of this is trying to call a family member – a brother or a sister, a parent – whom we have been estranged and disconnected for awhile and taking the courage to pick up the phone to find out how they are doing. Or maybe swallowing our pride by taking the first step to reconcile with the person who might have offended us. It may feel uncomfortable and uneasy at the start, but it feels so good when we know that we have done something beyond our comfort zone, something that requires more than our usual efforts.
We hear this gospel story of the widow just a few more weeks before we enter the season of Advent, where we anticipate the birth of Christ, the supreme manifestation of God’s generosity by giving us his only Son to be one like us. This stunning story of the widow’s total offering of herself opens the window to the greatest story of charity – the coming of Christ to humanity and his total offering of himself to the cross so that we may have life, life to its fullness. Just like every gospel story, this moving story of the widow is a paradox. It was in her nothingness and powerlessness that she found the fullness of life and the power of the human spirit — just like the powerlessness of Christ on the cross was the most powerful word of God’s love for all of us. Are you ready to go beyond your comfort zones?
I would like to express my profoundest gratitude to everyone who sent cards and notes in celebration of Priesthood Sunday. Father Mark and I are touched with your kindness, support, encouragement and care. – Fr. Cary