In the Gospel today, the Sadducees asked Jesus a very interesting question: “At the resurrection whose wife will that woman be, who had been married seven times? Who would be her husband in heaven if she was married here on earth seven times? Those are very interesting questions as we enter into the month of November, when we remember in a more conscious and deliberate way those who have died, those faithfully departed - family members, friends, acquaintances and strangers. What will really happen to us after we die? Is there a reunion in heaven? What will it be like? There are countless questions that each person faces when confronted with the issue of death. Even though the question of the Sadducees was meant to trap and humiliate Jesus on the issue of resurrection, wanting to probe whether there is truth or not on the doctrine of resurrection, there is something inside of me that wants to thank the Sadducees for asking the question to whose wife will the woman be in heaven if she was married seven times after all her previous husbands died. And, these questions that we all have about what is in store for us next, after our earthly life, and what kind of status are we going to have, weren’t just
answered by some known philosophers or thinkers who have profound understandings of death and afterlife – the answers weren’t just a product of speculation by people who have reflected deeply about our final destination— but were answered by Christ himself, our God.
The uneasiness of people in talking about death is rooted on the fact that we are basically relational beings; we value relationships; family is central to who we are, and when these core elements that are so dear are challenged with permanent separation like death, we also lose a part of ourselves. But, it is basically and primarily the significance of relationships and family that Christ gives us his response in the gospel today about the question of the Sadducees. When he said that those who are already enjoying the eternal bliss in heaven are no longer subjected to marriage or to any family ties, it doesn’t mean that Christ was dismissing those family bonds that we have made in this world sustained by love, care and sacrifice but, rather, all aspirations, longings and contentment that we get from our relationships whether it is in family, friendships and other forms of relationships will find its fulfillment when we are already enjoying that face to face encounter with God. All the wonderful and significant relationships that we have while we are still here are all foretaste and preparation for us to be ready to receive that ultimate goal, which is eternal life with God. Indeed, if we have that eternal life with God in heaven then we have everything already – no human relationship is needed anymore, because every human relationship is only there in the service of our relationship with God. In our faith, we enter into significant relationships not just for simple human reasons but with consciousness that these relationships will hopefully bring us to heaven. That’s why we say that in marriage, the primary task or work of each spouse is to make sure that each one reaches heaven. And, the ultimate tragedy that could ever happen in our relationship is if it bring us away from God and brings us somewhere else other than heaven. The greatest and deepest manifestation of love for one’s spouse is his/her concern for one’s soul and salvation. I remember reading this a few months ago, commenting on this same issue: “Some might object that each person is responsible for their own immortal soul, that each person, standing alone, will have to give an account to God. This is no doubt true. However, the one who shares your bed, your home and your life is also your soul mate. Your spirits will be shaped by your common reaction to the joys and sufferings of life. And, your reactions in turn will be tempered by the faith, or lack thereof, of your spouse. As you become a couple, over the years you will begin to share the same vision, outlook, and general disposition about religion, politics, and where to take your vacations. In the end, you will appear alone before God. But, there is one who will have definitively shaped you, for better or for worse, as you stand before God: Your spouse. “So, those seven men, who were married to the woman in the gospel, would no longer need her, and same thing with her, she would no longer need them because they all have reached their ultimate goal already.
When I was talking about this very issue with a friend of mine who was getting married, he said, “Cary, that’s great. But my fiancé isn’t Catholic — how would I explain this to her? It’s certainly a little bit more complicated in situations when there is a disparity of cult, or when the husband and wife don’t share the faith. The catechism of the Catholic Church, though, provides us with excellent advice: “In marriages with disparity of cult, the Catholic spouse has a particular task: "For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband." It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this "consecration" leads to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith. Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion. Meaning, in cases when both spouse don’t share the faith, the Catholic spouse should never coerce the other for conversion but, rather, continue to be a great example and witness of faith, and let the Holy Spirit do its work in the end. The role of the Catholic spouse is the sanctification of relationship but never to control, because holiness is contagious anyway. If the witness is true and authentic, then it would surely affect the other in a powerful way.
The resurrection that Christ speaks about in the gospel is our final hope, the ultimate goal of everything that we do here. If we believe that we will just whither and fade like a bubble or die like a tree at the end of our days, then there’s really no point to everything that we do here. But, the fact that we believe in the resurrection means that there’s something more beyond all of these things that we enjoy – that there is something more beyond wealth, success, beauty and honor – and that something beyond is heaven, that everlasting life with God.
How is our spiritual investment doing? Do we have enough savings already to merit heaven? If not, what are those things that we have to do in order for us to be assured of eternal life? Are your relationships right now, especially your marriage, bringing you to greater holiness and a deeper relationship with God? – Fr. Cary