One of the things that I realized early on when I first moved here to St. Cecilia’s is that, as a spiritual household, we have accumulated so many things. Just like any kind of household, we buy things for various events— things that we need for this season and that season— and as the years pass by, these things pile up to the point that we don’t even know where to store or find them again when we need them. We try looking for them and, if we are lucky, we find them after 2-3 hours of going through boxes and boxes. And sometimes we give up looking for them after 2-3 hours of search, then buying more things to store in the future. What’s my point?
Jesus in today’s gospel gives very clear and wise advice – actually more than advice—he gives an exhortation to his disciples on what they need to bring as he dispatches them to their evangelizing mission. Before he dispatches his apostles for the mission, Jesus did a sort of airport security check, or better, an “insecurity” check. At airports, travelers are screened to ensure that they are not carrying anything dangerous that could compromise security. Jesus is examining His followers for anything that would be harmful to their freely assisting Jesus in the proclamation of the kingdom of God. Jesus “strip-searches” them for anything they would be relying on for supporting their personal frailties or fears. The heaviest burden we tend to carry in any relationship, and so too with Jesus and His invitations, is our desperate need to be effective, look good, and be successful. Going on a trip or vacation, we take all kinds of things “Just in case”, “You never know.” As long as there is room in various pockets and corners, why not take an extra one of this and a few more of these. We fear getting caught short and not adequately prepared for the task. The exhortation of Jesus to his disciples is also an invitation to completely trust in the providence of God that he will provide what we truly need – we just to have place ourselves completely in his hands. I am pretty sure that he was not very pleased with me when I moved to Beaverton with a U-Haul filled with unnecessary stuff. The radical exhortation of Jesus in the Gospel – no food, no money on our journey to our mission— is not to be taken literally for most people, though this call is at the heart of priestly ministry and the consecrated life. What does this mean for you then, who are not priests and nuns, who do not have the call to give up those things? It means that we should be able to identify those things that get in the way in our own discipleship; those things that hinder us to grow in our relationship with God – it can be excessive dependence on material things; it can be spiritual, emotional and psychological baggage; and so on.
Are there material things, things that we own, that we consider more important than our relationships with our family and with God? Are there hobbies that we consider far more important than finding time to be with family, friends - something that obsesses us, something that we really want to possess to the point that we are willing to risk important
relationships and friendships? Am I hooked on or addicted to something that threatens my marriage and my vocation or my health?
How about spiritual and emotional baggage? Am I weighed down on my journey to holiness by nursing years of grudges and unforgiveness; how about not being able to forgive ourselves with something that we have done from the past that continues to haunt us every single day before we go to bed; the list can go on and on.
Christian discipleship is hard and tiresome if we continue hoarding things that are not really essential to our journey. And at times, when one is so used to hoarding these things and nursing them, one feels as if it becomes an essential part of the journey, but they are actually poisons and junk that impede or hinder us to see the great beauty and better life that God has been trying to offer us. I remember several years ago on one my trips to South America to study Spanish, my luggage was lost for a week. Everything that I thought that I needed was in that luggage. I was so preoccupied and upset that it did not arrive on time but, you know during that whole week that I lost my luggage, I survived just fine. And the day that I lost the luggage, I could not even remember what I specifically needed from that luggage. It made me realize that if I could survive for a week without it , all that was in there must not have been necessary anyway. In a way it was freeing; it was liberating; it allowed me to become more vulnerable to the generosity of others; it made me less proud that I can do things on my own without the help of others; and it made me appreciate better the natural goodness in people because so many people offered help when they knew that I lost my luggage.
At times we need to try to lose our “much-possessed luggage” in order to realize that there are better things stored for us. God in his utmost generosity wants only the best for us, but at times, we fail to see the new things that he is offering us because we become so fixated and so used to what we have. It’s essential that we do some lifestyle inventory checks regularly to see if what we truly consider treasures are indeed necessary. Just look at your garage: Do you remember what is at the furthest corner of your garage? Or can you even see it visibly? How about what’s in our hearts and minds? Do the things that
preoccupy us each day really have to be there all the time in our hearts and minds? St. Benedict, the founder of western monasticism, said “prefer nothing, absolutely nothing to the love of Christ”…for indeed if we have Christ, what else do we really need more?
– Fr. Cary