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This spring the Pastoral Council identified a series of topics that they felt were important to address. One that stood out was the high rate of suicide, depression, loneliness, and anxiety that our society faces now more than ever. I thought it might be a hard sell to do a presentation on those issues: “Come to our workshop on suicide, depression, loneliness, and anxiety!” Still, it is an important issue that needs to be covered. Not to point it out as if it is a hopeless and depressing situation, but to identify remedies to it. Therefore, I pulled out some books, looked at some studies, searched for some solid and common-sense advice that might help, not only to address it, but to help all of us live healthier and happier lives. I also wanted to show the often-overlooked religious component that is a very significant factor for increasing happiness and wellbeing.
THE BAD NEWS:
Suicide:
In the United States suicide rates have gone up considerably over the last 70 years. Statistics show that from the 1950s through 2010 the number of suicides increased but the percent of “suicides per 100,000” didn’t greatly increase. Since 2010, the rate of suicide has increased significantly. In 2022 there were almost 50,000 suicides and the rate per 100,000 increased from 10.6 in 2000 to 15% in 2022. This is an all time high since the Great Depression of the 1930s. This can’t be blamed exclusively on the pandemic either since the higher numbers were well on their way after 2010. Some have said that the reason is because of the scarcity of mental health providers and higher rates of depression, but that doesn’t answer the question of why there are more suicides. The answer lies in a combination of factors including social media, cell phones, internet, porn, disconnect from former institutions that brought community and stability, abandonment of traditional values, restructuring of society in ways that work against strong connected relationships, and an overall lack of meaning and purpose in the lives of many people. This affects the young in particular and young men more than any group. Statistics bear this out.
Loneliness, Depression, and Anxiety:
A Pew Research poll from December 22, 2022 showed that almost half of all women and a third of all men felt psychological distress during the COVID-19 pandemic. Another Pew Research study in 2018 showed that 70% of teenagers consider anxiety and depression a major problem. A Cigna survey from January 23, 2020 more than 60% of Americans feel lonely. Cigna also showed higher rates of loneliness among youth. 50% of Boomers, 71% of Millennials, and 80% of Gen Z reported that they feel lonely. Highest rates were found among heavy users of social media.
According to the Center for Disease Control, increased levels of loneliness have an adverse effect on their health including a 30% increased mortality risk, 33% higher risk of strokes, 50% higher rates of dementia, and a 400% increased rate of death from heart failure.
WHAT CAN BE DONE? THE GOOD NEWS:
Harvard Study of Adult Development:
The longest study on happiness came from a Harvard study on 268 people plus 1,300 of their offspring beginning from 1938 and continuing for nearly 80 years. The results show clearly that close relationships were most important. Relationships were a far more important indicator of happiness than other factors such as money, success, or fame. For example, on average there was a 10% increase in levels of happiness just by being married. Money, success, and fame contributed somewhere between a 1-3% increase. Those who had marital satisfaction were able to maintain their happiness even when in pain. Those who had no marriages or unhappy marriages suffered more emotional and physical pain in their suffering. Loneliness was shown to be as bad as smoking or alcoholism. Close relationships were indicative of longer years, healthy aging, less mental deterioration, and less smoking and alcoholism.
Longevity Studies:
Okinawa, Ikaria, Loma Linda, and Corsica are locations where people live longer lives. In Okinawa they lead active lives, don’t overeat, eat more vegetables, and practice “ikigai” which gets them out of bed and focuses on their purpose in life. In Ikaria, Greece, there is a routine where the residents engage in a coffee social hour after their siesta. Combining their lifestyle, social connections, and a Mediterranean diet seems to be their secret. Loma Linda, California has a high concentration of Seventh Day Adventists who emphasize a strict vegetarian diet, avoidance of smoking and drinking, and connection in their faith. Corsica not only has the Mediterranean diet, but they are active, highly social, connected in faith, and have a high respect for the elderly. All these areas have a combination of community, belonging, and healthy lifestyle.
Cognitive Therapy:
The decision to look at life in a positive way and to train yourself to think that way is key to this approach. There is a book that has been out for a long time called Feeling Good – The New Mood Therapy by David Burns. The book walks people through cognitive distortions, trains them to identify the particular distortion, helps them to reason beyond them by thinking logically, and encourages them to think and act positively – which contributes to a happier mood. It is like many other areas of life. If you want to be a person of faith, live the faith. If you want to have a happy marriage, do the things that happy married couples do. If you want to be healthy, do what healthy people do. Below is a summary of distortions that need to be identified and overcome:
1. All-or-nothing Thinking: You see things in black-and-white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
2. Overgeneralization: You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
3. Mental Filter: You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened.
4. Disqualifying the Positive: You reject positive experiences by insisting they don't count. This allows you to continue to maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.
5. Jumping to Conclusions: You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion.
6. Magnification or Minimization: You exaggerate the importance of things or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear insignificant.
7. Emotional Reasoning: You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are. You believe it so it must be true.
8. Should Statements: You try to motivate yourself with things you expect of yourself. The emotional consequence is guilt. When you direct these "should statements" towards others, the result is also anger, frustration and resentment.
9. Labeling and Mislabeling: This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing the error, you attach a negative label to yourself. You think of yourself as a loser instead of just admitting you made a mistake.
10. Personalization: You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which you were not primarily responsible for.
Faith Component:
The Pew Research Center did a study on the connection between religion’s relationship to happiness, civic engagement, and health. The January 31, 2019 study shows a significant increase in levels of happiness from religiously active people compared to those with no religion or non practicing religion. An April 12, 2016 study shows that actively religious people are happier, have a more engaged family life, are connected to the greater community, volunteer more, and are more generous with their time and resources.
Some Key Takeaways:
1. In the US there is an eleven percentage point difference between religious and non religious (or non practicing) people who say they are “very happy” (40% vs. 29%). This is a 40% higher rate for actively religious.
2. There is very little statistical difference between non religious and non practicing religious in levels of happiness.
3. Actively religious are in better health, are more likely to live a healthy lifestyle, and avoid destructive habits.
4. On a societal level, actively religious are much more generous to charitable causes donating money, time, or goods outside of their religious contributions.
The bottom line is that religious practice and levels of happiness and social engagement are directly related. One’s religious engagement can be the largest single factor for improving one’s perception of happiness. In addition, the healthier lifestyle and concern for others contributes to the health and wellbeing of others.
What the Bible Says:
The Bible is filled with God’s desire and power to fill us with his love, peace, and joy. Merely being in God’s presence adds joy to our lives. Our response to God’s love allows him to fill our hearts with his joy and happiness. Consider the language of these quotes that emphasize joy, delight, rejoicing, exulting, praising, peace, and generosity:
1. God’s presence (Psalm 16:11):
You will show me the path to life, abounding joy in your presence, the delights at your right hand forever.
2. God’s love (Isaiah 61:10)
I will rejoice heartily in the LORD, my being exults in my God;
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation, and wrapped me in a robe of justice,
Like a bridegroom adorned with a diadem, as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.
3. God’s ways and Word (Psalm 119:111)
Your testimonies are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart.
4. Gratitude, praise, worship (Psalm 28:7)
The LORD is my strength and my shield, in whom my heart trusts.
I am helped, so my heart rejoices; with my song I praise him.
5. Joy Complete (John 15:10)
I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.
6. Trusting God (Romans 15:13)
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the holy Spirit.
7. Generosity (Acts 20:35)
In every way I have shown you that by hard work of that sort we must help the weak, and keep in mind the words of the Lord Jesus who himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’
20 Tips to Contribute to Happiness, Joy, and Wellbeing:
Finally, from a variety of research, studies, and surveys, we have a good indication of many contributors to happiness that should not be surprising. I’ll post the obvious standouts in no particular order. If you are looking to make some changes and work on your happiness, consider applying some of these approaches:
1. Get rid of addictions and destructive behaviors (sin): These are always destructive to real happiness. Don’t let any addiction take you away from God’s desire to keep you free and happy.
2. Live a healthy lifestyle: Diet, exercise, sleep, avoiding stress, have hobbies, focus on wellbeing, enjoy other’s company, stay in touch with others, etc.
3. Actively participate in your faith: There is no substitute for real and active faith that is lived out. Put your heart into your faith and God will bless you with so much including a happier disposition. Just make sure to practice the faith as Jesus revealed it to us. Pray, go to church, participate in the sacraments, read your Bible, do acts of charity, stay away from sin and superstitions, love, forgive, restore, and witness God’s love to others.
4. Follow the basic tenets of Jesus’ teaching: We were created to live in a particular way. If all we ate was junk food we would be unhealthy because we were designed for real food. In a similar way, when we harmonize with God’s ways, we are living as God designed us which brings us happiness and wellbeing.
5. Use Humor: As St. Teresa of Avila said, “Oh Lord, save me from those sour faced pious people!” Humor is a gift from God and contributes to our joy.
6. Delayed gratification: Postpose instant gratification for something greater. The “something greater” has a better long-term effect on us.
7. Moral discipline: Avoiding sin and choosing the good contributes to our wellbeing in every way
8. Generosity: It is more blessed to give than to receive. Generous people are happier and more appreciative.
9. Truth and integration: Even a small lie can take us out of an integrated life. Strive to live in truth and don’t let any ideology, cause, or convenience disrupt your integrity.
10. Adventure: Don’t stop learning and experiencing something new. It pushes us to see things in a new and exciting ways, which contributes to a zeal for life.
11. Beatitudes: Matthew chapter 5 lists Jesus’ Beatitudes. They summarize the fact that if we depend on God for everything, we are putting our hearts and lives in God’s hands. He who is the author of all that is good blesses us even in difficulty.
12. Be grateful: Every day is a gift. Look for the ways you can be grateful and allow that to move you.
13. Have a family: Families and children have their ups and downs, but the deep levels of satisfaction, meaning, and purpose that family brings is undeniable.
14. Moral Connection: Not only are we happier when we are morally grounded, but there is a moral imperative to be happy. God calls us to joy and we should live joyfully even if we don’t always feel like doing that. Practice makes perfect.
15. Set goals: Manage time, set healthy routines, tackle the most important tasks first, set goals that are attainable and move you forward so you can be the best version of yourself.
16. Appropriate self-esteem: It isn’t about being narcissistic and selfish. It’s about seeing yourself for how God sees you. You are a child of God. Let that be your identity. Be happy that God made you as he did and ask his help to allow yourself to be who he created you to be.
17. Relationships: Have healthy and close relationships. Do the work to make friends, stay connected, and keep those who truly love you present in your life.
18. Be present: The past is gone and the future hasn’t happened. You can’t drag around the burdens of your past. Give those to God. Be present to those around you and get off your phones when you are with real people. Go ahead and plan and prepare for your future, but the present time is God’s gift. Make that your priority.
19. Get support and face fears: We all need help to overcome our weaknesses and fear. It builds resilience and helps us to not be enslaved to things that should have no power over us.
20. Distraction and Multitasking: Multitasking is a lie. People can only be present to one or two things at a time. More than that we will juggle and not do well. We are distracted by so much and most of it is not important anyway. Focus on what is most important (people). Minimize social media and only use it for uplifting purposes.