The gospel reading this weekend is a good exhortation as we brace ourselves once again for a new school year and the reopening of our parish core programs (religious education, youth ministry and confirmation classes). This weekend’s gospel emphasizes the need for a good and solid faith foundation:
“Which of you wishing to construct a tower does not first sit down and calculate the cost to see if there is enough for its completion? Otherwise, after laying the foundation and finding himself unable to finish the work the onlookers should laugh at him and say, ‘This one began to build but did not have the resources to finish.”
The construction of the “tower of faith” began in baptism, where we also received the mandate to slowly work for the completion of this life-long project with the assistance from the Holy Spirit. God did not leave us on our own in this important project, but he expects us to do our part. In baptism, it is the parents of the child to be baptized, along with godparents, who took on the responsibility of introducing and rearing the child in the life of faith. Addressing the parents, these words from the Rite of Baptism could not be clearer: “You have asked to have your child baptized. In doing so you are accepting the
responsibility of training him/her in the practice of the faith. It will be your duty to bring him/her up to keep God’s commandments as Christ taught us, by loving God and our neighbor. Do you clearly understand what you are undertaking?” To which the parents respond with sincerity: “we do.” Those words underline the primordial role of the family, especially the parents, in the faith formation of their children. The foundation of faith must start and emanate from the family, learning from the domestic church the basic elements of prayer, the importance of Mass and the cultivation of gospel values and virtues. No best catechist or best parish could ever replace and supplant the role of parents in laying the solid ground works of faith. The parish can only reinforce what the parents have instilled and modeled to their children. Faith formation does not begin in the parish but in the homes!
A few weeks ago I was talking with a very good friend of mine over dinner who was sharing with me that he was deeply hurt when his eldest daughter told them that she was getting married outside the church. I can understand his anguish. He sent all his children to Catholic schools from kindergarten to college, hoping that they would grow and keep the faith. He turned to me and asked me: “Where did I go wrong?” Then his wife said, “I wonder if our daughter’s high school years had something to do with her ‘losing’ the faith.” The mother explained that it was during her daughter’s high school years when she started to drift away from the church because she was busy with so many extra curricular activities, to the point that Sunday was no longer a sacred day because she had to be at practices or tournaments, requiring her to miss Mass for most of her high school years. Though they understand that there are other factors that contributed to the “retrogression” of the faith of their daughter, they were convinced that their passivity and less encouraging attitude when it came to faith during her high school years unconsciously instilled in her the relative value of faith. I asked permission if I could share their story for my article this weekend as it brings a very important point in the formation of our children. It’s distressing to see the effects of parental complacency during the important formative years of our children as its effect can be seen in the years to come as they make important choices and directions in their lives. I told them that it’s not too late— they just have to keep encouraging their daughter, to continue to love her unconditionally, be a good model of faith to her right now and, of course, to pray for her conversion. The key to a holistic and integrated formation across age levels is finding balance between faith and other secular pursuits. If we truly believe and are convinced that eternal life is the best that we can ever possess, which is the fulfillment of every desire, then we can never put faith in the margins. A truly sound individual is a product of a healthy integration between the body and the soul.
How are you constructing your “tower of faith”? Let me end this article with the special blessings given to the mother and father of the newly baptized child:
God the Father, through his Son, the Virgin Mary’s child,
has brought joy to all Christian mothers,
as they see the hope of eternal life shine on their children.
May he bless the mother of this child.
She now thanks God for the gift of her child.
May she be one with him/her
in thanking him for ever in heaven,
in Christ Jesus our Lord.
God is the giver of all life, human and divine.
May he bless the father of this child.
He and his wife will be the first teachers of their child in the ways of faith.
May they be also the best of teachers,
bearing witness to the faith by what they say and do,
in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Amen.